Kristjan Ivanov: He takes a deep breath. "What
have they told you about me? Because they both know. Laidan knows. And Ingvar suspects. I
suppose you'll make five. It's not the best kept secret any longer."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: "Not anything, really. All
I know about you is that you're a Shadow Lord family member, which I figured out tonight,
when I saw Ingy and became fairly sure, and that you have issues with aggressive women.
And that you're a good guy." She smiles.
Kristjan Ivanov: "You may well change your mind.
I was not born a Shadow Lord. So I lack breeding, and to an extent context. My mother was
an agressive woman, commanding, of considerable rank, and abjectly ruthless. She would
have made an excellent Shadow Lord, and perhaps she once was, but by the time I was born
her loyalty lay with the Wrym."
Kristjan Ivanov: He waits, watching Reyna carefully.
Perhaps he expects she'll eat him, or walk out, it's hard to tell what he's thinking past
critical evaluation.
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods, taking that rather
well, actually. In fact, she shows no negative reaction to it, beyond maybe a touch of
empathy. "Okay."
Kristjan Ivanov: "Shortly after my first change,
our Hive was destroyed by a Shadow Lord, who had posed as her lover for four years. That
would be Gabriel, strong, commanding, of some rank, and as willing to use me to further
his goals as my mother had been.
Kristjan Ivanov: He was no kinder, no gentler, he
simply served Gaia. He did not rent me out by the hour, which was a definite improvement,
and he was less violent, but he really didn't care. He just had different moral codes. He
taught me to be Garou."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She frowns a little bit.
"Thus why I call Shadow Lords one of the most lesson-worthy families of wolves out
there."
Kristjan Ivanov: "Hey, he could have killed me.
He didn't. That's...something."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: "True enough." She
concedes that point.
Kristjan Ivanov: "Gabriel and I hunted together
awhile, until he brought me back into a Hive, which aside from nearly breaking my mind,
tainted me again. He couldn't risk keeping me then, so he sent me here. That was...maybe
three years ago."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She gives a tiny smile, pure
support, and nods. "I see. And you think I would dislike you for this why?"
Kristjan Ivanov: "Because having almost been
killed over it a few times, I'm a little skittish...."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She smiles a little.
"Point taken...that's understandable. But Kristjan, what happened to you was a
circumstance of birth, and Gabriel's choices. I would never hold that against you."
She looks at him. "You're responsible for your own choices, not what others forced
upon you."
Kristjan Ivanov: "Well, that's going to be
exactly what he thinks when he gets back, if he's still alive, and this-" he waves at
the room around them, "is not what he sent me here to do."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: "What did he send you here
for, then?" Tilting her head in the curious way she's so good at.
Kristjan Ivanov: "To secure him power. Certainly
not to befriend a couple Simba, and involve myself more with their politics than mine.
Nevermind they've proven far more loyal friends thus far than the Garou.->
Kristjan Ivanov: The Garou certainly didn't help me
when I was captured by Spirals later, nor did they respond with anything past 'now that
you've been tortured a lot by those Fenrir, could you give us some tactical
information?'" He sighs. "I stayed with Mas while I came off that, and then
Malcolm."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She sighs. "Fuckin' Shadow
Lords..." She gives Kristjan an apologetic look. "Sorry. I just find it hard to
believe that any wolf would be more concerned with personal power then helping the Earth
Mother."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She shakes her head. "See,
we Nuwisha don't have these problems. 'course, we only see each other once a year, so that
makes it easy..."
Kristjan Ivanov: "He thinks he is. He, like most
Garou I've dealt with, doesn't see the world like I do. But then...until Mas, I didn't
either." He swallows, eyes closing. He doesn't really like to talk about Mas right
now either.
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods. "I'm sorry that
you're in this position, Kristjan. You're a good person, and you deserve better. If
there's anything I can do to help...anything at all. Let me know."
Kristjan Ivanov: "Thank you."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods. "Of
course." She smiles a little suddenly, a kind of strange, introspective smile.
Kristjan Ivanov: "What are you thinking?"
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She shrugs. "Nothing. It's
just..." She shrugs. "I just realized that I have more people that I consider a
friend here in New York then I've ever had in any other city since I..." She clears
her throat, shifting a little. "Since my First Change."
Kristjan Ivanov: "Hard for you, I take it?"
His eyes soften a little. "I grew up expecting it. And I didn't so much have friends
to lose."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods. "I'm used to
picking up once I've pissed enough people off with my work for Coyote, then moving on.
I've never left a friend, and I've never looked back. 'till I hit this damn place, at
least. Now, I've got friends I don't want to leave, I'm...in love with someone..."
That still seems very strange for him... "and I have no current plans or desires to
leave. And this is so strange for me, I don't know really how to handle it."
Kristjan Ivanov: "I know the feeling.
It's...home. The thought of anything less is just...empty."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She smiles a little bit at
that, nodding and leaning over to stub her cigarette out. "That's a really great way
to put it, Kristjan. Yeah, it does feel like...home." The word just feels right.
Kristjan Ivanov: "We both need him back, don't
we?" He asks softly.
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods, smiling a little.
"Desperately."
Kristjan Ivanov: Kris nods back. "I'm glad he has
you too. Angelia...." He glances away. "I think you're better with people."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She shrugs. "I've just got
a way of seeing things in perspective, is all. Angelia is better for him in some respects
then I am, and I'm better in others. He needs us all, and we all need him."
Kristjan Ivanov: "If I didn't think he needed
her, don't you think I'd have found some way to get rid of her by now? Just being in the
same room with her makes it harder to breathe." He sighs. "As much as we do
tolerate each other is for him, I think."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: "What's happened between
you and her, if you don't mind me asking? Is it just her way that gets at you? Or
something else?" Again, she's not pushing. Just asking.
Kristjan Ivanov: "When I first came to New York,
she wanted to form a pack with me and another Glasswalker. I started to relax, I started
to trust them, and I was almost settled in when she asked Ikeep an eye on Mas. So I did,
until he vanished, and I left to find him. Which is when I got captured by my wonderful
ex-family. As you can imagine, it was a touching reunion.->
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods. "I can
imagine..."
Kristjan Ivanov: I got out of that, and stumbled into
a caern of crazy Fenrir, and then yeah, got back to New York to be asked if I could
explain where they were. I was so messed up. I was just crazy. I couldn't sleep, I'd half
starved but I was just...I didn't really eat, I was a mess.->
Kristjan Ivanov: Mas wasn't Simba anymore by then, but
I got back and-" He sighs. "By the time I got to him I just collapsed. He
practically had to carry me into the house. It was months before I could handle being out
on the street. I was terrified of everything."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She listens quietly, watching
him.
Kristjan Ivanov: He seems, at least for the moment, to be done talking.
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods, finally. "Okay, I get that. I don't get where the issue specifically between you two is. As she one of the people asking if you could explain where they were? Did she leave to to the rest of them?"
Kristjan Ivanov: "Do coyotes form packs?"
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She shakes her head. "Nope. Like I said, I see my fellow Nuwisha once a year, at most."
Kristjan Ivanov: "Lets just say I'm still just...they put me in a pit with vines that crawled over my skin. They moved. They wouldn't let me out. If your pack won't come for you, who will? She didn't come for me. Raya did."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods. "Now I've got it. I'm sorry, Kristjan. If you're uncomfortable with this, please, let me know."
Kristjan Ivanov: "With what? You?"
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: "With talking about this."
Kristjan Ivanov: "It's easier with Adam. But that's not your fault."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods. "Understandable. I just want to make sure, because I have a hideously bad habit of letting my curiosity get the best of me, and not knowing when I've pushed too far."
Kristjan Ivanov: "No...it's good. I needed to talk, I think. And to have a complete mental breakdown, but that's just not terribly productive right now." He says that far too calmly.
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She grins a little at that. "Well, Adam's had his, I've had mine, Angelia's had hers, I think. Maybe it's only fair that we share the wealth of mental breakdowns."
Kristjan Ivanov: "I've had plenty. Trust me. Adam usually just...fixes them." He blinks, as if he's not quite sure how that works.
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: "It's a new thing for me. Christmas was my first that I know of since my First Change. I may have had a couple I haven't noticed since. Funny how they kinda just slide by, sometimes. You wouldn't think that would happen."
Kristjan Ivanov: "Clearly you haven't hit the right level of psychosis yet...."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She smiles. "Probably not. I'm sure they only get more fun as you go along."
Kristjan Ivanov: "Not really. But there does come a nice point past whixh you just kinda shake in mindless panic, as opposed to flashbacks, which is kinda nice."
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: "Oh, well, that's nice." She says it with a light one, with a hint of sarcasm thrown in.
Kristjan Ivanov: "Well, it kinda is, really. You're realy just too sane to get that. I'm about as mentaly stable as the San Andreas fault." He nods, but there's a quick smile, the first in awhile.
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She chuckles at that a little. "Nobody ever said you had to be stable to be a good person. At least, no one who was right, anyway." ((I'm gonna have to cut out...I'm fading fast, and works quickly approaching.))
Kristjan Ivanov: "How true." (NP - me too.)
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She looks around, and sighs. "Well, I better get some sleep. Got a lot ahead of us, it seems." She smiles at him. "Thanks for talking, hon. I appreciate it."
Kristjan Ivanov: "Sure. It was good. Sleep well."
Kristjan Ivanov: (Night. Take care.)
Reyna Varinia Reiruno: She nods, and gets up, heading for the elevator. ((G'night! *hugzes*))